Settle our argument
Though I-66 and myself get along pretty famously, we do occasionally have disagreements, the likes of which need to be brought to the attention of the masses, so that a decision might be reached. It just so happend we have a long running argument which can be solved by you good people, if you'll be so kind. I'm sure after reading this, you'll all see the light and vote for I-66. So without further ado...
Who is the bigger metrosexual, I-66 or The Captain?
Since neither of us consider ourselves to be such, and because we both reject the idea of metrosexualality (is this a word?) as a passing fad, it stands to reason we can accuse each other of this crime. Not that being a metrosexual is a crime, persay, we both just feel that a man's time can be spent on other pursuits, such as wrestling the dog, screaming angrily at bushes, and running over squirrels with a riding lawnmower. However, there are a few cracks in the armor, it's just a question of who's are worse.
Reasons why I-66 is a bigger metrosexual that The Captain:
1. Due to a youth spent in the clothing business (Kathy Lee was not involved), I-66 has a wardrobe that would make any metrosexual proud. And it's worth mentioning the color coordinating obsession.
2. I-66 uses body soap and a man sponge. Get a loofah and be done with it, wuss.
3. I-66 has this thing about using massive amounts of hand lotion. Soft and metrosexual-like.
4. I-66 doesn't like to drink beer or other manly drinks like straight tequila. He's more of a girl drink type of guy.
5. I-66, unless it's soccer related, doesn't like the outdoors very much, and detests rain and all other inclement weather.
6. Though he might use an excuse of "not much body hair," I have a sneaking suspicion there's a wax job involved. This can't be proven, however. Just thought the jury should know.
Now, I could wait for I-66 to edit the end of this post and offer his rebuttal, but I'll just do it for him because I know what he'll say. Reasons The Captain is a bigger metrosexual than I-66:
1. The Captain uses hair conditioner.
2. The Captain uses face wash.
3. The Captain shaves in the shower. (I would note that this is only part of the time, and I'm confused as to why this is considered metrosexual, but it's an argument he uses)
4. The Captain uses three types of mouthwash.
5. The Captain works out obsessively, while I-66 manages to look good naturally.
6. The Captain eats vegetables and the like, while I-66 can live off a manly diet of Hot Pockets and microwave pizzas, and still look good.
7. While I-66 has a large, manly Black Lab, The Captain will soon be getting a puppy which will never get any larger than 20-25 pounds. The Captain is a small dog guy. (It's going to be a pug, for those interested)
Then I use a honey-almond mask with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries the skin...
So anyway, those are the basic arguments. I personally think I-66 wins this one (i.e., more people think he's worse) by a landslide, but I'll leave the final decision up to you, our readers. My vote goes for him, of course, making it 1-0. I assume he'll vote for me to tie it up. We need at least 9 more votes to make this an officially settled argument.
Who is the bigger metrosexual, I-66 or The Captain?
Since neither of us consider ourselves to be such, and because we both reject the idea of metrosexualality (is this a word?) as a passing fad, it stands to reason we can accuse each other of this crime. Not that being a metrosexual is a crime, persay, we both just feel that a man's time can be spent on other pursuits, such as wrestling the dog, screaming angrily at bushes, and running over squirrels with a riding lawnmower. However, there are a few cracks in the armor, it's just a question of who's are worse.
Reasons why I-66 is a bigger metrosexual that The Captain:
1. Due to a youth spent in the clothing business (Kathy Lee was not involved), I-66 has a wardrobe that would make any metrosexual proud. And it's worth mentioning the color coordinating obsession.
2. I-66 uses body soap and a man sponge. Get a loofah and be done with it, wuss.
3. I-66 has this thing about using massive amounts of hand lotion. Soft and metrosexual-like.
4. I-66 doesn't like to drink beer or other manly drinks like straight tequila. He's more of a girl drink type of guy.
5. I-66, unless it's soccer related, doesn't like the outdoors very much, and detests rain and all other inclement weather.
6. Though he might use an excuse of "not much body hair," I have a sneaking suspicion there's a wax job involved. This can't be proven, however. Just thought the jury should know.
Now, I could wait for I-66 to edit the end of this post and offer his rebuttal, but I'll just do it for him because I know what he'll say. Reasons The Captain is a bigger metrosexual than I-66:
1. The Captain uses hair conditioner.
2. The Captain uses face wash.
3. The Captain shaves in the shower. (I would note that this is only part of the time, and I'm confused as to why this is considered metrosexual, but it's an argument he uses)
4. The Captain uses three types of mouthwash.
5. The Captain works out obsessively, while I-66 manages to look good naturally.
6. The Captain eats vegetables and the like, while I-66 can live off a manly diet of Hot Pockets and microwave pizzas, and still look good.
7. While I-66 has a large, manly Black Lab, The Captain will soon be getting a puppy which will never get any larger than 20-25 pounds. The Captain is a small dog guy. (It's going to be a pug, for those interested)
Then I use a honey-almond mask with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries the skin...
So anyway, those are the basic arguments. I personally think I-66 wins this one (i.e., more people think he's worse) by a landslide, but I'll leave the final decision up to you, our readers. My vote goes for him, of course, making it 1-0. I assume he'll vote for me to tie it up. We need at least 9 more votes to make this an officially settled argument.
posted by The Captain at 8:11 PM
5 Comments:
Are you kidding me? I won't even begin to pick apart the falsehoods here - of which there are a metric shitload.
Um, you're free to edit the post and clear up any misconceptions. I didn't see you vote, however, which means you're losing 1-0.
I'm not even going to entertain bullshit such as this.
If you want to draw me out you'll have to do something better than this.
I'm curious as to what the untruths are!
Can't vote if all there is is propaganda! Of course, that's not saying that I can't, but I want to be fair. :)
It should be known that this is not an ongoing issue so much as The Captain choosing to rehash soemthing that hasn't been discussed in months. He makes it seem as though it's something argued about over and over when in reality it's really 3 people who've said he's the "most metrosexual" in the house, and him being insecure about it and looking to focus the attention on someone else.
And that's all I'm going to say about that.
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