High Heel Drag Race

Evidently rain is not enough to keep the determined away from a high heel drag race. The Captain and I headed into town to meet Rhinestone Cowgirl and take in the fun. The first destination of the night was Annie’s for food and a roof over our heads…

Highlights:

- RC and Captain trading a mozzarella stick for a mini-crabcake followed by RC sticking the mozzarella stick in the middle of her pile of mini-crabcakes which looked… rather… phallic. So the mozzarella stick was dipped in tartar sauce and placed like so…

- Only then is it discovered that RC has an aversion to all things mayonnaise. She hates it. So she wipes the tartar sauce off the mozzarella stick while The Captain explains that she can’t hate mayo as much as a regular food because it’s only a condiment, and that it’s like hating people and midgets – “because midgets are half the size of regular people, they only deserve half your hate.”

- RC eating the now wiped off mozzarella stick after dipping it in its own sauce and making a face after still tasting the tartar sauce

- A smoking hot dish was brought to a nearby table that began smoking up the room. For whatever reason, the sight of the guy sitting in front of it sweating and unable to go near the thing was hilarious to RC and me… but the kicker was her asking our server (keep in mind our proximity to Dupont) what the “flaming dish” was that the guy had.

So eventually we were pushed towards the door and into the elements in favor of people who evidently had reservations for the booths. So much for squatting. We moved on to a bar that I can’t remember the name of and went inside for liquid refreshment…

Highlights:

- Our stunning inability to collectively get the attention of any of the 3 bartenders at work.

- Being denied Red-Headed Sluts (presumably for all the work it takes to make one) and RC subsequently ordering tequila for herself and me – despite my absolute displeasure for the stuff.

- Me taking the shot anyway.

- Me being angry with RC for the next 20 minutes.

- The two shots and The Captain’s drink costing $27 in total. $27!!!

We headed back outside under the roof before determining that there was an hour left until the actual race… so we headed back to RC’s to be warm and dry. We weren’t there long but did manage to squeeze in my front-to-back rendition of Baby Got Back by Sir Mix-a-Lot after a verse of Now That We’ve Found Love by Heavy D and The Boyz and headed back to 17th St…

evidently I look good as a blond

this just screams hate and tequila contempt

By the time we got there the crowd was huge and we didn’t actually see much of the race. The Captain and I lifted RC so she could get a better view, and while The Captain had ideas of lifting her to our shoulders he kindly neglected to apprise me of his plan… so RC sat lopsidedly upon us for a few moments before being set back down. We set off to find drag queens who were picture-friendly (which pretty much was all of them)...

they're racing in there somewhere...

"...um... you're a 49er and everything, but I'm sure you won't find any gold there"

Good times... Good times...