Gazing into the crystal ball
It’s finally pigskin time. Whether NFL or NCAA, football reigns supreme… so I bring you the 1st of 2 previews in the month of September.
First, odds and ends from the off-season:
STRANGE DIVISIONAL DEVELOPMENT: ACC, seriously. Atlantic and Coastal Divisions? Because “North” and “South” were apparently too difficult.
THE NCAA: OVERRIDING THE FIRST AMENDMENT BECAUSE WE CAN: Yeah, the Native American population is in an uproar over the Indian-related nicknaming of colleges and universities. They’re in SUCH an uproar that the Seminole nickname has Native American support. Wait, what? I’m sure the Chippewa Indians really care about sharing their name with a university, and while we’re at it, the Illini too. How many Native Americans were even in the vicinity when this decision was made? NCAA, if you’re gonna bring the hammer down on Native American nicknames, do something about “Fighting Irish” too – and any other name with ethnic connotations, why be selective?
I’M GOING TO HOLD A PRESS CONFERENCE TO ANNOUNCE THAT I’M NOT QUITTING MY JOB: Shouldn’t we have just assumed Matt Leinart was going to stay at school unless we heard otherwise?
In-season developments:
LOSING AGAIN: Texas against Oklahoma
NO CHANCE THEY’RE THREEPEATING: USC
NEVER REPEATED: USC, because remember, they only won ½ of the National Championship in ’04.
HEISMAN FRONTRUNNER: Reggie Bush
HEISMAN CANDIDATES: Everyone, because any player, offense or defense or special teams, can win it.
YOUR HEISMAN WINNER: Someone who was everyone else’s darkhorse, but they never wanted to say anything about him.
OVERRATED: Vince Young, Marcus Vick, LSU
ACC WINNER: Miami
ACC OVERRATED: Florida State
BIG 12 WINNER: Oklahoma
BIG 12 OVERRATED: Texas A&M
BIG EAST WINNER: The ACC
BIG EAST OVERRATED: The entire conference
BIG 10 WINNER: Michigan
BIG 10 OVERRATED: Ohio State
PAC 10 WINNER: Oregon
PAC 10 OVERRATED: Cal
SEC WINNER: Tennessee
SEC OVERRATED: LSU
NATIONAL CHAMPION: Oklahoma
NATIONAL CHUMPION: NCAA, until you install a playoff.
First, odds and ends from the off-season:
STRANGE DIVISIONAL DEVELOPMENT: ACC, seriously. Atlantic and Coastal Divisions? Because “North” and “South” were apparently too difficult.
THE NCAA: OVERRIDING THE FIRST AMENDMENT BECAUSE WE CAN: Yeah, the Native American population is in an uproar over the Indian-related nicknaming of colleges and universities. They’re in SUCH an uproar that the Seminole nickname has Native American support. Wait, what? I’m sure the Chippewa Indians really care about sharing their name with a university, and while we’re at it, the Illini too. How many Native Americans were even in the vicinity when this decision was made? NCAA, if you’re gonna bring the hammer down on Native American nicknames, do something about “Fighting Irish” too – and any other name with ethnic connotations, why be selective?
I’M GOING TO HOLD A PRESS CONFERENCE TO ANNOUNCE THAT I’M NOT QUITTING MY JOB: Shouldn’t we have just assumed Matt Leinart was going to stay at school unless we heard otherwise?
In-season developments:
LOSING AGAIN: Texas against Oklahoma
NO CHANCE THEY’RE THREEPEATING: USC
NEVER REPEATED: USC, because remember, they only won ½ of the National Championship in ’04.
HEISMAN FRONTRUNNER: Reggie Bush
HEISMAN CANDIDATES: Everyone, because any player, offense or defense or special teams, can win it.
YOUR HEISMAN WINNER: Someone who was everyone else’s darkhorse, but they never wanted to say anything about him.
OVERRATED: Vince Young, Marcus Vick, LSU
ACC WINNER: Miami
ACC OVERRATED: Florida State
BIG 12 WINNER: Oklahoma
BIG 12 OVERRATED: Texas A&M
BIG EAST WINNER: The ACC
BIG EAST OVERRATED: The entire conference
BIG 10 WINNER: Michigan
BIG 10 OVERRATED: Ohio State
PAC 10 WINNER: Oregon
PAC 10 OVERRATED: Cal
SEC WINNER: Tennessee
SEC OVERRATED: LSU
NATIONAL CHAMPION: Oklahoma
NATIONAL CHUMPION: NCAA, until you install a playoff.
posted by I-66 at 1:22 PM
3 Comments:
A bunch of players across the ACC were interviewed and asked if they could name which schools were in the Atlantic and which were in the Coastal.
Only one player from GT could correctly name the divisions.
They make no sense, except that you knew they'd separate Miami & FSU (with hopes they'd be in the championship every year).
Dear Sir,
I'm sure you're a very knowledgable man on the subject of American Football. I'm convinced that you are a man of good character, impeccable dress, and well-mannered. Jolly good then.
However, I believe you may be mistaken in a few of your predictions. You must consider both the under-ratedness and championship pedigree of the Pennsylvania State Lions of Nittany. They're my favorite squadron.
Perhaps these mighty men of Paterno will be challenging USC and that strumpet Matt Leinart for the cup of college football.
Ah tea time...I must tarry no longer. Good day to you sir!
thinly veiled... thinly veiled.
Post a Comment
<< Home