The Goonies Are Good Enough

The Goonies. Just saying that title should make everyone smile and think about one of the greatest films of my childhood.

I'm starting a new section on this blog, which will be devoted to the greatest movies ever. Now, that doesn't necessarily mean The Godfather, Gone with the Wind, etc., just the greatest movies that affected me, and likely many of you, in our lives. Movies made before we were born aren't likely to be included, though there could always be an exception.

Today, we focus on the first movie I could ever call my favorite. I'm sure many of us got a small allowance from our parents as kids. However, I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who used his allowance to rent The Goonies from the local video store, faithfully, almost every weekend for a year. Maybe that's sad in retrospect, but I loved the movie that much, and I wasn't smart enough to be buying Microsoft in the the mid-late 80's.

Let's look at the All-Star line-up:


Sean Astin as Michael "Mikey" Walsh.
Classic Line: Chester Copperpot. Chester Copperpot! Don't you guys see? he never made it this far. Don't you realize? The next time you see sky, it'll be over another town. The next time you take a test, it'll be in some other school. Our parents, they want the best of stuff for us. But right now, they got to do what's right for them. Because it's their time. Their time! Up there! Down here, it's our time. It's our time down here! That's all over the second we ride up Troy's bucket. (Yes, I just quoted this entire thing from memory)
Where is he now: Little Mikey grew up to, among other things, play football at Notre Dame. He then grew hairy feet and helped save the world from Orcs and certain doom.


Corey Feldman as Clark "Mouth" Devereaux
Classic Line(s): (In reference to Mikey's complaining about the statues broken penis being his mother's favorite piece) "You wouldn't be here if it wasn't!"
"Senior Jerk Alert!"
"Yeah, but you know what? This one, this one right here. This was my dream, my wish. And it didn't come true. So I'm taking it back. I'm taking them all back."
Where is he now: Mouth um, well, he peaked early in his career. A set of four great films at a young age (Gremlins, Goonies, Stand By Me and The Lost Boys) followed by a ton of mediocrity and type casting. Recently did a voice for a Japanese Robot Series called "Super Robot Monkey Team Hyperforce Go!" I shit you not.


Jeff Cohen as Lawrence "Chunk" Cohen
Classic Line: "I'm not all alone in the dark. I like the dark. I love the dark. But I hate nature! I HATE nature!"
Where is he now: Served as student body president at UC-Berkley, did truffle shuffle at halftime of football game. Now an entertainment lawyer in Hollywood. No real acting to speak of.


Jonathan Ke Quan as Richard "Data" Wang
Classic Line: "THATS WHAT I SAID! BOOBY TRAPS! God. These Guys! Be Quiet! Shhhh!!"
Where is he now: Graduates from USC, martial artist and stunt coordinator, recently working with Jet Li.


Josh Brolin as Brandon "Brand" Walsh
Classic Line: "I'm gonna hit you so hard that when you wake up your clothes will be out of style!"
Where is he now: Never really been a featured star of anything major, but has continued to find steady work in Hollywood.


Kerri Green as Andrea "Andy" Carmichael
Classic Line: "I hit the wrong note. I'm not Liberace you know!"
Where is she now: Graduated from Vassar college, no involvement in Hollywood. Married with three kids. At this point, let us all pay tribute to the first crush of The Captain's life, ever. I used to think this girl was incredibly hot when I was just a young Captain. I truly believe she is why I've had an affinity for redheads my whole life. And as we can see from picture #2, she's grown up quite nicely as well. I need to stop here, I can't find the words.


Martha Plimpton as Stefanie "Steph" Steinbrenner
Classic Line: "Because these are somebody else's wishes. They're somebody else's dreams."
Where is she now: Does anyone really care? Me either. She was a wet blanket character and while in other films, did nothing of real note. 200 Cigarettes was okay...no, that sucked too.


The entire cast then...


...and now.

It's hard for me to do enough justice to this movie. It bordered on awesomeness. I wanted to be a Goonie. Who didn't want to be a Goonie when they were younger? Who among you has no heart? Personally, I always wanted to be data, but that was just me. And get with Andy somehow.

I think I'll just leave it at this, and remember all the good times. I hope all of you enjoyed the trip down memory lane as much as I did. I think I know which DVD is going in this weekend.