I've decided I really hate art...
Yeah, the title of the post says it all, but man do I really hate art. This was brought on last week, while I was over in lovely Falls Church having Microsoft Exchange drilled into my unblinking eyes. We wound up at a nice Thai restaurant for lunch one day, and I had to excuse myself to go to the bathroom following our meal.
Let me explain that the bathroom can be a sanctuary, which need not be disturbed by outside influences. I wasn't so lucky today...hanging over my urinal was a painting which could generously be described as an assault on my corneas. It appeared to me that this was painted by a retarded monkey holding a paintbrush, after a seizure had been induced. For those who wonder, random triangles and color swirls do not make art.
You know who the perpetrators of this are, right? It's those people who walk around pretentiously, acting like they see more in these paintings than the normal person, ACTING LIKE THEY'RE BETTER THAN YOU!! (These are the same people who will argue that "Amelie," a ridiculously bad foreign french film, was one of the best movies ever made. In point of fact, the opening and closing credits were slices of bread, because Amelie was a shit sandwich.) Pretending like there's something mysterious in Salvadro Dali paintings because there are melting clocks. Let me tell you something...unless you're Salvador Dali, you don't know what the hell he was thinking, and it's probably better that way, because the only thing I can interpret from his art is that he was insane.
Seriously, look at this ridiculous thing...
This one is called "The Artist." I found it on the Internet, and can only assume it's a self-portrait. Don't quit your day job buddy.
And it doesn't stop there. I hate all types of art. For example:
I hate Art Carney, because he wasted our time while Jackie Gleason made us laugh. Piss off, Art!
I hate Art Garfunkel, for being perhaps one of the biggest leeches off a more talented counterpart in the history of music, ever. The only one I can think of that was worse, off the top of my head, was Richard "Ringo Starr" Starkey. You'll never be Paul Simon, but you should spend all your days thanking God you met him, because he carried you, Garfunkel. P.S., your last name sucks.
I hate Art Alexakis, because Everclear had so much promise and then decided to quit trying. Otherwise, I actually like this guy. Hell, I even met him when they had sunk to playing at my alma mater's Spring Weekend Festival. How the mighty have fallen.
Make art what it's supposed to be, something intelligible, and help me start the revolution that will force EMO dorks to go get real jobs and stop being pretentious snobs.
posted by The Captain at 7:34 PM
18 Comments:
Art Alekakakis is a creepy dude, but Everclear were a pretty decent band before they sold out and became tools of The Man.
I have to back you up on all points.
Fuck art.
Hitler was an artist.
And a vegetarian. Mmhmm.
Captain, do you really hate art? I refer to my works as functional art, e.g.: furniture and food.
What about Art Monk? Art Modell?
I don't think there's any question what we think of Art Monk.
I met Art Monk once 3-4 years ago in a store in Tysons. I recognized him instantly and calmly walked over and shook his hand. We spoke only briefly but not about football. I was successful in refraining from bowing at his feet and declaring myself 'not worthy'
Hey, "a unique alias" - you just used the Hitler Card, a condemnation through true but irrelevant comparison to Nazis and/or Hitler. You have just officially lost the game. Now if you had a real reason about how art or vegetarianism is undesirable because it is undesirable in the same way Hitler, Nazis, or their policies were undesirable, then that would not be the Hitler Card.
Nazi Germany condemned some art as "Entarte Kunst" - Degenerate Art. By condemning all art as degenerate, without stating any opposition to all authority and domination, you risk a government that nationalizes ham-handed crap. Nazi Germany hunted down and destroyed crap while imposing its own crap in the name of art.
This was so funny. I hate art, too.
Yeah, you know what? You just succcessfully (whoever wrote this blog) made yourself look like the ignorant twat that you claim 'arty types' try to make you feel.
Firstly, no you can't say what is and isn't art. Now you might not be able to comprehend this, but there are quite a few other people on Earth, and some of those people might have a DIFFERENT opinion to you. Now, because we all have different opinions, we can't say what is and isn't art, only what we (as individuals) like and don't like. So, stick 'In my opinion' in front of every other sentence up there and I won't be complaining.
Secondly, it's Salvador, not Salvadro. And no, he wasn't mad, he was high. Besides, it's perfectly ok for people to look at his pictures and read something into them, even if they don't know what Dali was thinking. Dali probably didn't know what he was thinking. Again, you might have trouble understanding this, but some people have this thing called imagination, and they LIKE to look at pictures and THINK about them. Your picture 'The Artist', is an example of cubism. I suggest you do some research before you further slag it off.
Finally, good luck with your revolution.
Oh, and Hitler guy? You are also unable to form a sensical argument.
whoever wrote above me? amen!
nice blog.. but everyone may have there own position on things...
now seriously "a unique alias" come on..grow up..
I could not agree more. I live in New York City, so as you can imagine, I am exposed to a shitload of artsy fartsy pretentious pricks, who walk around thinking everything is art, and sucking each other's dicks. Fuck art, fuck "independent films". It's a movie, not a film fuckwad. UGH!
Yeah, I'm starting to hate art, but unfortunately it's what I'm good at. Going to Art school and Uni to study it, has fucked me right off. What started as a pleasant hobby to release boredom as a child, has now turned into a complete nightmare. You think the art itself is bad, you should try meeting some of fucking pretentious arseholes, that make shit art. I have never met anyone ruder than art student, and that's tells you more about them then it does about general violent people and the many fucked up people living in this world! I want to know a few questions, just where do they get off, thinking that their work is more important or as equally important as any occupation? Dose their art work serve a great purpose to the human race, can it really help man kinds problems. Can it save the earth from global warming? Can it stop the wars of the world? Can it cure illness, the answer is no, no it can't do any of these things. So they can take their ideas and shove it so far up their arse, Because it's only purpose is for viewing! if you can stomach it, and all the waffle about it carrying a meaning, holding a particular mark in the history of time. Bollocks! get a real job! If I can start my life again, I wouldn't of NEVER picked up a pencil.
As an art student, I'm comforted by the fact that I'm not the one going crazy, that many of you have seen the pretention and talentless shit that seems to come along with swarms of art students. They're cliquy and mean spirited and so many of them attempt to mimic the attributes of other so called artists. Often with a fag hanging from their mouthes and wearing a beret, but I think that the assholes receive far more attention than they deserve, because there are nice, normal down to earth people that create art too. But god there are lots of mean people.
Don't worry about trying to understand all the shit art that exists. But the other person was right about cubism, that was revolutionary, despite how crap it looks. :(
For argument sake, art is there for the pleasure of civilisation, similar to music and literature, expression should be valued, it engages with our subconscious and i think that art can be so many things, not just paint on canvas.
Art brings people hope. It may not be necessary for physical survival but without the fundamentals of art and the nature of envisioning, which are found in almost everything, the world we know today wouldn't be the same.
I understand what you mean, I hope you can see that I feel the same and I'm sorry you have to see so many losers. There are so many dickheads out there. But I dont think its that black and white.
The problem is that now "conceptual art" exists, but thats crap because its VISUAL art, not philosophy. Thats the downfall of contemporary art. :(
Logically, you'd think that it would be pointless to speculate about Dali's art for instance, but we could say that for any form of interpretation, why delve deeper into anything at all then? Why do we challenge, question and engage?
I know art is a weird thing and people like to feel special and try to shut it off as something magical, but we all know that it exists as something within us all. The ability to create, imagine and dream freely. We all have it. It does not belong to one select few or to a "talented" bunch. We are all gifted.
Paul Simon never wrote a great song after he broke w. Art Garfunkel. Art was the poet, Paul the one-man band.
There's lots of bad art out there but there always has been. It's the good art that lasts and no one's in a hurry to sell or exhibit it. The perishables have to be sold first before they rot in front of our eyes.
this is hilarious, by far the most uneducated dissection of art i've ever heard
seriously, judging art in its entirety from your unfortunate experience in a fucking BATHROOM?
artists aren't better than anyone in particular, just you.
Nice to know Todd that you have a love for art, lets hope it stays that way, and that that life experinces haven't taped your preious way of thinking we don't want people to think that you've been living in a closet for most of your life!
Oh! and by the way,... life's experinces are the best learning curves.
I Fucking hate artists who scribble like a toddler on canvas and the people who walk around an eerie white room coughing and sniffing.
Are art lovers sick all the time?
and what's with people who think art is worth something just cos the guy or lesbian killed themselves. Good, fuck 'em. The less artists the better.
Wow you are a Philistine sociopath insect. Go buy the music album "Sports" by Huey Lewis and turn it up so loud so you can't hear music anymore. No one really likes people who don't have personalities they only tolerate them because they have to.
I don't like pretentious people either. Does it bother you that you are a pretentious hypocrite? When writing this blog article did you even stop to think that you are doing the very thing that you profess to find so annoying. Maybe next time you might think about what you write instead of subjecting the world to your verbal diarrhea. Get an IQ it might help.
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