Week 14: The View From Below Above .500

All is right with the world. I’m above .500 for the first time all season after going 13-3 last week. Don’t look now… but I’m on fiiiiiiyuhhhhh…

Week 14:

Rams at Vikings (-7)
Between these logos, this is easily the horniest matchup in the NFL… Pick: Vikings

Raiders (-3) at Jets
Lighten up, Herm. You could be coaching Houston… Pick: Raiders

Bears at Steelers (-6)
This line has moved 2 points (from -4). A lot Steelers betting, I see… Pick: Bears

Buccaneers at Panthers (-6)
I swear these teams just played. Hey pundits, how great is Chris Simms playing now? Thank you… Pick: Panthers

Colts (-8) at Jaguars
Don’t be surprised when it’s 34-10 in the 3rd, ok?... Pick: Colts

Patriots (-4) at Bills
The New England Patriots (7-5) are tied for the 7th best record in the conference. And I’m smiling… Pick: Patriots

Browns at Bengals (-12)
If Chad Johnson says they’re going to score 40, I don’t have any reason not to believe him… Pick: Bengals

Texans at Titans (-6)
Domanick Davis: The Unhappiest Man in Houston after the NFL Draft… Pick: Titans

49ers at Seahawks (-16)
Memo to Mike Holmgren: Get that man his rushing title… Pick: Seahawks

Giants (-8) at Eagles
Is that the end of the Mike McMahon Experiment?... Pick: Giants

Redskins (-4) at Cardinals
You know you’re in trouble on defense when 2 100-yard rushers are coming your way… Pick: Redskins

Dolphins at Chargers (-14)
WE WANT SAGE! WE WANT SAGE!... Pick: Chargers

Chiefs at Cowboys (-3)
The Chiefs either win this close, or Dallas blows them out. Ok, you can stop laughing… Pick: Chiefs

Ravens at Broncos (-14)
Hey, Kyle Boller, there’s a spot under the bus with your name on it – but hold on, it’s reserved for after this season… Pick: Broncos

Lions at Packers (-6)
Judging by where his passes are going, I’m recommending Brett Favre have his eyes examined to make sure he’s not color blind… Pick: Lions

Saints at Falcons (-10)
Wait… THIS is the Monday nighter? Am I ever glad I’ve found something infinitely better to do… Pick: Falcons

Last Week: 13-3
Season: 96-92-5