Sunday, December 31, 2006

Before last night's Redskins/Giants game

I-66: "Hey, this is a win-win situation for us. If we win, we probably keep the Giants out of the playoffs. If we lose, we get a better draft pick to trade away for more players!"

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Night Before Christmas Review - 2006

In the tradition of my yearly Night Before Christmas Review (2005), comes the 2006 edition.

Twas 2 weeks before the playoffs
And football fans en masse
Are rooting for the Saints
And a Cowboys collapse
Playoff spots up for grabs
And little's been decided
And Michael Irvin's gay for T.O.
He really doesn't try to hide it

Parity's the name
Even without Tagliabue
Now a summary of the season
Night Before Christmas Review

They have the technology, they do
They can rebuild him, they can
BEARS QB Rex Grossman
Million Turnover Man...

Fire GM Matt Millen!
LIONS fans can no longer take it
He'd already be gone maybe
If it was him in the drive-thru naked...
There's a glimmer of hope
6-8, playoff lives on respirator
VIKINGS fans are just glad
There's no boat party or Whizzinator...
There's still two weeks to go
Can't we just enjoy the brats and beer
Instead of worrying about if Favre
Is coming back to PACKERS next year...
Biggest game of their season
BENGALS over Ravens at their home nest
Coach Marvin Lewis is just hoping
For more wins than arrests...
From Super STEELERS to losers
It's been quite a fall
But something tells me Bill Cowher's
Not retiring after all...
McNair gets hurt every year
RAVENS wonder "when", but don't ask "why"
And know that Brian Billick holds his breath
When he turns to that Boller guy

BROWNS 4-10 this year
And last year 4-12
Romeo Crennel's tenure
Sure isn't going too well...
I know, spleen removal
But I've seen Chris Simms play
And I know without question
BUCS would have sucked anyway...
I think PANTHERS would've gone far
But QB play's been stinky
A little with Jake Delhomme
But a lot with Chris Weinke
Overthrows wideouts with ease
He may have given fans middle fingers
But at least it wasn't herpes...

Success after disaster
Fans are living some sort of dream
Move over, Dallas
New Orleans SAINTS: America's Team...
Seeing almost 400 rushing yards against
Must've been quite a jolt
But Manning, Harrison, Wayne
Just outscore them, COLTS

Vince Young would electrify
Reggie Bush would thrill them
TEXANS have heard it all season
Wasted pick on Mario Williams...
Young and defensive scores
Have answered TITANS prayers
Now just keep your mascot
From driving into opposing players...

One week they look great
And the next week they gag
This season's Jeckyl and Hyde?
None other than the JAGS

(halfway home!)

Hamstring, broken hand, overdose, spitting
COWBOYS ain't seen nothin yet
Terrell Owens has almost done it all
How bout a failed pregnancy next?...

The ACL's bad, Donovan
But maybe EAGLES don't need ya
Could it be? Playoffs?
On the arm of... Jeff Garcia?...
Eli Manning is awful
New York fans are woozy
They've seen football this bad before
In that Little GIANTS movie...
Mark Brunell's time is done
It was alright while it lasted
Now REDSKINS build for the future
If they'd stop trading away draft picks...
With DOLPHINS underachieving
And Joey Harrington at his side
Wonder if coach Nick Saban
Wishes he'd gone to Crimson Tide...
They barely shook hands
Bill Belichick's a wieney
Nothing else to say about the JETS
That rhymes with Eric Mangini
Seeing PATRIOTS beaten by Fish and Jets
To me, it's pretty funny
I thought this staff was so freaking smart
Guys, you can't carry over salary cap money...
BILLS coach Dick Jauron
Is more than just something to gag on
He's brought the team to 7-7
And evidently circled the wagons...
Alex Smith showed he can play
And Frank Gore's been in the zone
But for 49ERS coach Mike Nolan
He'll be wearing his suits at home...

NFC West is terrible
So SEAHAWKS division hopes just fine
But losing to 'zona and San Fran?
Team's receding like Hasselbeck's hairline...
From preseason contenders to failed expecations
The fall has been like a blur
Hey CARDINALS and Dennis Green
You are what we thought you were...
Marc Bulger spoke out finally
When he used to make not a peep
Teammates don't care about winning?
RAMS are without horns, now just sheep...
CHARGERS are 12-2
And hotter than your mom-linson
Your MVP, not easy to rhyme
Mr. LaDainian Tomlinson...
If the CHIEFS have any playoff hopes
Winning out is simply a must
But would they be in this situation
If Trent Green was longer concussed?...
Shanahan made a bold move
Changing BRONCOS QB he benched Plummer
It's already cold in Denver
And Jake's play made fans minds number...

The resurrection of Art Shell
Has not brought back success of the past
The 2006 RAIDERS and this review
Saving the worst for last...

All 32 teams at 4 lines a piece
And still we're not quite done
Hope San Diego wears powder blue
When they play New Orleans, Super Bowl 41
There's not long until the playoffs
They're coming just into sight
Merry Christmas to all
And to all a good night...

Monday, December 18, 2006

Awakened From My Slumber

Recent events in the DC sports world and national sports have prompted me to post here for the first time since I thought the Redskins were on to greater things. I was wrong, but we'll start with the burgundy and gold because this season may be a waste, but the future is looking bright...

Redskins 16 - 10 Saints

I missed much of this while in transit, but from what I've read the defense really brought it. I turned on the TV just after the Carlos Rogers INT of Drew Brees in the 4th and saw the Saints had 10 points and thought one of two things was going on.

1) The Saints were turning the ball over repeatedly

2) The Redskins were finally playing defense like they have in the past and just stopping the Saints

I learned quickly that it was 2), as the Rogers pick was the only turnover by the Saints all day and they only gained 270 yards of total offense. The Skins didn't shoot themselves in the foot with penalties (only 3) ran the ball well, and didn't turn the ball over once. With a young quarterback, you need to run the ball well and keep the opponent off the scoreboard to keep the kid from having to win the games on his own. You could argue that running the ball and stopping the other team is always the formula to win, but it becomes that much more important when winning the game on the arm of the QB isn't really an option.

The Captain thinks that Ladell Betts is a better fit for the Redskins and the Joe Gibbs running game than Clinton Portis, and thinks that Ladell's recent performance proves his point. Statistically Betts has been great since Portis left with injury in Week 10 against Philadelphia. Portis carried 6 times against Philly in that game and Betts carried 20 times, so we'll consider Week 10 as the time that Betts became the primary carrier. Since then, he's carried 134 times for 650 yards for an average of 22.3 carries per game. Before Portis got hurt, he played in 8 games (including Week 10). In those 8 games he carried 127 times for 523 yards, and an average of 15.9 carries per game. Statistically, Betts is better, but that doesn't mean that he's the better back. Why? 22.3:15.9, the per-game carry ratio for Betts and Portis. Having a young quarterback means you have to run the football more, and the Skins have returned to that M.O. with Campbell in there. Under Brunell, who was supposedly a more reliable passer, the Redskins went away from the run a bit and it showed in the stats for Portis. 16 carries a game for your star running back is not going to win you games. Also, in 8 games Portis garnered 7 rushing TDs and a long run of 38 yards. Betts has 2 rushing TDs all year and a long run of 26 yards. Betts is good for chewing up yards, but Clinton Portis is the guy that makes big plays and scores you touchdowns. You tell me which you'd rather have - and don't get me started on how the rushing offense is now more simple with less plays designed for cutbacks (as Portis specializes) now that Betts is in.

Freddy Adu to Real Salt Lake

Good riddance. It was about time. That's about all I have to say about that. Nick Rimando, on the other hand, I am sad to see go.

Washington Wizards 147 - 141 Los Angeles Lakers (OT)

If you didn't stay up late to catch this, you missed a real treat. Gilbert Arenas set a career and franchise high by scoring 60 points (including 16 in overtime!) as the Wizards eventually held on to beat the Lakers after blowing a 17 point 4th quarter lead. Arenas went head to head with Kobe Bryant, besting Bryant's 45 points and beating him off the dribble a few times down the stretch, and came out on top in the W column and in the statistical column. Bryant (who later said Arenas has "no conscience") scored only 4 points in OT, and finished 2 rebounds shy of a triple double with 10 assists and 8 boards. It's just a shame this game was at Staples Center and ended after 12:30am EST.

Terrell Owens is a spitter

Funny. I figured he only spits when it's Parcells, but swallows when it's Tony Romo and Jerry Jones. On Saturday night he evidently spat on Atlanta Falcons alleged cornerback (though you'd never know it from his play) Deangelo Hall. I don't like Owens or Hall and I'll wait to see if there's footage, but whether it's Roberto Alomar, Sean Taylor, or Terrell Owens, nobody should be spitting on anybody. Of course this will get more attention than it should since it's Terrell Owens, but it will be interesting to see whether the hammer comes down on him.

Nuggets v. Knicks

What a brawl in Madison Square Garden huh? To think I was actually in the city that night but didn't hear about it til I got back home. Carmelo Anthony wins the punch of the year award, but it looks like he pulled a Brendan Haywood and ran away immediately after. The Wizards travel to Denver tonight to play the Nug (leave off the "gets" because they'll probably be less than half a team) tonight and should win easily. Penalties will likely come down today. Too bad the Knicks and Nuggets have already finished their season series. I guess Round 2 will have to wait until next year, unless they meet in the NBA Finals.

...okay, I was laughing as I typed that last part. We all know the Knicks aren't going to the finals with Isaiah Thomas running things, and speaking of Zeke, he evidently is under NBA investigation for his role in the fight, including telling Anthony that he and Marcus Camby should not have been in the game after it was decided, and also advising Anthony not to go near the basket shortly before the foul that started the whole brawl occurred. Hmm... The Fire Zeke watch could be heating up. I mean, more than it already is.